Each year we face different challenges as current students return from summer break, new students enter the mix and school routines are established. This year was no exception. After the newness and excitement wore off many students found they were struggling to get along and to see eye-to-eye. Others, students and teachers, found themselves in the position of peacekeeper or referee, both stressful rolls when called upon time and time again. By the end of October or early November it was clear that we were a community under stress.

We have many approaches and methods in place for peacekeeping. The first and most often used is the Peace Conference. Students who are upset with one another are expected to call a mediated peace meeting and talk out their differences before resentments build. During this meeting the mediator, typically another student, facilitates the conversation. He enables each student to share her side of the story, tries to help each see the others perspective and continues the conversation until a solution is found. The mediator must stay neutral, restate what he has heard, ask questions and give each person the opportunity to speak to the other. This process empowers the children to take responsibility for handling their own conflicts. We find this to be a very effective method but not fail proof. Occasionally, a mediator will conclude that he cannot help the parties involved. On these occasions students agree to disagree, agree to revisit the issue at another time or with a different mediator or call a teacher to the table.

Our second approach to peacekeeping is the all-school meeting. This is typically called when a problem is obvious to all, affecting a large majority if not all the members and/or seems unsolvable. These begin with a reminder of who we are and what foundations we are built upon.

Once this is established the problem is named, prior attention given to the problem is outlined and the conversation begins. We look at the problem from all angles in hopes of hearing a new prospective or developing a better understanding of the conflict or issues. We name names, call on involved individuals to answer questions and explain their reasoning, feelings and desires and expect change that will benefits all. We strive to listen, to care and to help rather than to accuse, to posture and to grow angry. We expect everyone to be honest, take responsibility and participate wholeheartedly. Typically a meeting lasts 45 minutes to an hour and can take place once or carry on over days until the community is satisfied. Often these conversations reveal underlying problems, new facts and additional stresses around an issue. They expose greater details and provide a clearer picture of the whole problem. They most often lead to solutions that stick.

If all else fails the buck does stops with the teachers and the director. During our third approach a child will, from time-to-time, be asked to attend a staff meeting where she will be called upon to address a negative behavior or position that requires change. We restate the problem, outline the change the community expects and ask the child what she is willing to do and what she needs to get it done. We are concise, kind and willing to listen. We are also serious and state a clear expectation. There is no question regarding the desired outcome or the potential consequences.

Fourth and finally, teachers and the director do work one-on-one with students all the time. These are informal moments where we try to better understand the child and provide another opportunity to explore issues. During these sessions children are asked to reflect and share their perspective through drawing, acting out, dictating and conversing. This is a more intimate exchange where confidences are often shared and vulnerabilities are revealed. During these exchanges we sometimes learn of outside stresses that are affecting a child’s viewpoint or behavior. Sometimes a child tells of conflict with friends outside of school, or of sleepless nights, or insufficient breakfasts, or unpaid bills or car troubles or parents facing conflict or illness. They tell of the things that are not in their control but weigh heavily on their minds. We continue to engage in these conversations in hopes of providing an outlet, offering support, easing their worries and validating their feelings. Together we brainstorm solutions and identify coping methods that are productive and satisfying. This often frees the child and results in a greater capacity to participate in our school community.

This fall we seemed to encounter greater and more regular conflict. Despite many Peace Conferences, several Community Meetings, lots of one-on-one exchanges and a few student/staff meetings we were unable to change the tide of conflict. Little was being solved and the same issues were being brought to the table again and again by the same sets of children. Children were growing tired of mediating and teachers were growing more and more anxious. Despite our efforts to keep an even closer eye on the dynamics between children, to head off conflict and to give students tools to work with harsh words and physical altercations were more often evident. It seemed as if we were running out of rabbits to pull out of our hat.

Confronting small problems individually and in peace conferences did not seem to be working as each person took a hard and fast stand. Community meetings exposed many issues but students were reluctant to take responsibility for their actions. The community decided to name names and share individual students’ undesirable actions and words with the whole group. Although children were more inclined to admit their part in conflict they were unwilling to cross the lines they had drawn in the sand. We announced that we were a community under stress and needed to find resolution and peace.

We identified trouble spots in our routine. Our morning walk was providing an opportunity for cliques to be established and power games to be played. Pokemon Card playing lent itself to exclusions and positions of authority of some over others. During lunch, workshop time and recess children were excluding, taunting and ignoring one another. In transition from class-to-class children were delivering verbal jabs and physical blows. The troubles were mounting.

In answer to these problems the staff began implementing community-building activities to help students who normally become aggravated with each other see that they can work together and accomplish tough tasks. Through these activities students began to verbalize what they were experiencing and how they were beginning to feel better about each other. We purposely grouped together or separated certain students to accomplish particular goals. Although this helped we speculated that a complete overhaul of routines might be necessary. We were willing to try anything; building this community up was and continues to be our most important goal. We decided to revamp.

We rescheduled our morning walk, cancelled all Pokemon card playing, changed our lunch routine, rescheduled workshop time, eliminated battle play at recess and borrowed the lunch routine we observed at A Child’s Place School and made it our own. Now the morning begins with a half hour of workshop time. During this time teachers offer specific activities and check in with groups of children. They are closely observing interactions and calling into questions behaviors that are adverse to building friendships. At 11:30 each day students and teachers walk together without wandering ahead or falling behind. While the students are exploring nature, one teacher stays behind and sets up for lunch, placing name cards around the tables indicating where each child will sit. When the children and teachers return each one finds his name card, spread out his place mat, unloads his lunch and place it under his seats. We wait for everybody to be ready before a teacher begins lunch with a poem or other recitation. Once finished we all clean up together. Then, instead of going straight to recess, we retire to the library for ten minutes to enjoy a book read aloud by a teacher. We are currently reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. The transition from lunch to clean up to reading and then to recess has helped the children remain calmer. There is far less desire to rush through lunch in order to gain a better position in a game or get the most desired ball or jump rope for recess.

Relying on place card seating at lunch has proven quite enjoyable. First, students need no longer race to a table to grab a seat and save seats for their friends. Second, no one feels deflated because he or she is left out of a group. Now we sit with new people each day and engage in conversations with those at our table. Children who would not normally find time to talk to each other are growing closer as they become more familiar. The atmosphere at lunch is easier and more relaxed without social wrangling and bickering over Pokemon cards or recess rules. Sitting quietly for a story has been a challenge but the success is clear in the fact that students want to be there and help each other remember to listen attentively. Recess without battle games has led to the establishment of a new and creative interactive game where all parties are members of one team with one purpose.

Things are not perfect but they are greatly improved. Children understand that the community expects positive thinking, a cooperative disposition, honesty, integrity and a desire to be a friend rather than a foe. They also know that they will be held to these standards and confronted if they do not get on board. Finally, children see that their input is essential to the health of the whole and that they are the keepers of our peaceful community.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 6th, 2009 at 1:13 pm and is filed under news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.